


They Didn't, They Didn't Need to

by Ho_Ho_Homicide



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Hair, Human Disaster Clint Barton, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:52:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ho_Ho_Homicide/pseuds/Ho_Ho_Homicide
Summary: Hair was such a simple way of showing affection. The brush of it on their way by, the nuzzling into it with their nose, the patting, the smelling, the ruffling.





	They Didn't, They Didn't Need to

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is the first fanfiction I've ever posted but I've been working really hard on this. And the order of how things happened is a little tweked to fit this fiction, btw. I hope you enjoy!

Hair was such a simple way of showing affection. The brush of it on their way, the nuzzling into it with their nose, the patting, the smelling, the ruffling.

Clint had the most perfect hair, the kind that would make or break an entire look. He knows these things. It was clipped short, but long enough to grab into a fist, with a little point at the end near his forehead. He use to rock the 80s mullet, even before SHIELD and the circus and that little incident with the flamethrower that left him partially bald for a bit.

Natasha always told him that his hair was better than hers, high, high praise coming from a prize hair holder. She liked the way it smelled and felt, like the rest of the team.

Phil once brought him back to planet earth from a dark spot, by simply stroking his hair, the only place that wasn't covered in bandages and gauze. Panic attacks have always seemed to get the better of him, ever since he was little.

Clint was barely seventeen when he found Maria Hill stuck in the crossfire of a gruesome murder resulting in the death of both of her parents. He walked a young Maria Hill back to SHIED on his shoulders, her tiny hands fisting in his hair and he honestly can't remember the last time he's had such a bad headache. Phil told Maria of the incident when she was a bit older. She didn't thank him. She didn't need to. They both knew that.

Clint wasn't sure what made his so perceptive, yet so extraordinary stupid, both at once. He seemed to notice only the things that got him in trouble. So when a kidnapping called for Clint's heroics, it was only natural of to discover the boss had a hair fetish. More like a hair grabbing fetish. Fury later disclosed that Phil had taken matters into his own hands, apparently protective of Hawkeye, and Clint didn't bother to hear the rest. He'd honestly rather not know. 

For having such a lack of talents in his own life, Clint liked to push himself to the limit. Usually past the limit. Je wasn't sure why he did it. Maybe to prove something to himself. It almost always ended in pain, blood, and a scolding from someone. And unless it was Natasha, there was never a hug, and Clint was to pathetic to ask for one. After a particularly nasty infiltration, Clint's mind wasn't in the right place. It scarcely was. He'd worn himself out to exhaustion and was the cause of some hard feelings residing in higher ups in SHIELD. He was vulnerable and tired, an easy target. The assailants quiet liked his hair, particularly tugging and pulling. Clint would say it had hurt but he can't remember any of it. That's at least what he'd said. He got a buzz cut a day later. 

Clint liked attention. He thrived of it, in fact. His life, for lack of better term, was void of attention. Any positive form of it, at least. His dad beat him and Barn on the best of days and would prefer not to bring up the worse days. The circus gave Clint nothing but archery skills and bad memories, then left him for dead after Barney and his friends took with what little he had. Phil had been the brightest point in his life, but Phil was the father type. A great mentor, brother, and friend, but not an attention giver. Clint understood. Why should he be the main part of Phil's life? Phil had responsibilities that didn't come I'm the form of a dumpster fire.

Then he got himself a Natasha, so they could be dumpster fires together, but she crawled her way out of a bad, bad place fast. Natasha knew everything about him. She gave him as much attention as he needed, but no more. She was a brutal woman, but while it made him sad she ceased to hold his hand and kissed him goodnight, he knew he'd get selfish. And possessive.

It was a triat both of them carried. Jealousy, need for control. He was told years of abuse did that to a person. He hated the fact that he knew it was true, but he knew there was no way of fixing it either. Natasha didn't only do it for Clint's good. She just had better self control. They learned it the hard way, all of SHIELD did, when the two of them were trapped in a safe house for days, the reality of the world slipping away to just the person in front of them. Natasha wanted Clint for herself and only herself, and Clint was happy to oblige, until he heard Phil's voice, desperate and pleading. 

Strike Team Delta was formed that day, and Natasha and Climt had to find a happy medium. Cling hated the happy medium. 

Then Cap came out of the ice and the Winter Solider was caught more or less and Natasha decided to go all Black Widow mode and crashed SHIELD. Clint doesn't resent her, as much as he wants to. She did what had to be done and Clint doesn't have that kind of self control. The type to bring down their own house on top of them in flames.

The family farm was his only option. He hated to put Laura in such a situation, again, but Clint just had to hope she'd understand. His plans were foiled (what's new) by the discovery of the tesseract and Clint's sharp eyes were needed once again. He wondered if Natasha would be able to find him.

Then fucking Loki came out of that fucking space door. Maybe it was his stupid soft heart that made him hesitate, but something in Clint knew that Loki wasn't Loki. But any thoughts that weren't his own flew out the window, and suddenly the god of mischief knew everything. That same night Loki found out he quite liked Clint, and after his mind was released he had fingernail shaped scabs in his hair for days. Natasha didn't ask. She didn't need to.

Bobbi use to like the way she could grab his hair and give it a little tug. It was supposed to be affectionate, caring maybe, but it only reminded Clint of the way Swordsman would trash him when he was fucked up. Another reason Bobbi left him. He doesn't blame her. She tried, he tried. He's just too much of a dumpster fire, and Bobbi deserves someone as equally intelligent and beautiful as her.

Clint remembers the day he met her, as Mockingbird. The Bird was showcasing her talent of aim, and when presented with a challenge, Clint cant refuse. He doesn't remember one hundred percent how they ended up with wedding rings a few months later. Bobbi stuck around long enough to know she wasn't ready for a married life with Clint and disappeared only hours after the legal forms were signed. Natasha gave him her best bottle of Russian vodka and a quiet presence. She didn't ask how he was doing. She didn't need to.

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda a cliffhanger, I know. Just couldn't think of where to end it. Lemme know what you thought!


End file.
